"PARP!" Pssst! Do you know the story about Queen Elizabeth I (1533-1603) and the - er - farting courtier? One day, when bowing low to Her Majesty, the Earl of Oxford couldn`t help but break wind. The poor man felt SO embarrassed, that he left the court - and some say the country - for SEVEN years. Upon his return, after such a long absence, the first thing Good Queen Bess said on seeing him was, "Lord, I had forgot the fart!"